When I was born, my ears were pierced; I was a girl; that was the norm.
Someone once wrote this about me: "My name is Dania. I live in a world where the humans are not allowed...now I'm caught in the mix where i eat, sleep and I'm expected to even marry. I JUST WISH THESE HUMANS WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE." I've decided to let the humans in. A little.
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Saturday, 19 February 2011
MR. NO, MASTER. MISTER?
I’m not him.
My name is Seun Adams. I turned 23 today and I should be excited about it but I’m not. I’m not because exactly 10 years ago today, on my 13th birthday to be precise, my life as I knew it changed.
Friday, 18 February 2011
OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!
So Valentine's day has come and gone. Is it just me or was there an unusual amount of fuss attached to it this year? If I'd gotten one more, just one more, Valentine hamper BBM broadcast I'd have smashed my blackberry. I'm sure. Even though I didn't get a Range Rover (still can't get over that story), thankfully, i didn't have any 'Oh no he didn't' moment.' I received my fair share of gifts (as per hot babe na) and gave out a couple myself (yes a couple)
A few weeks before the day, I was at the home of one of my girlfriends an we were discussing the lamest excuses we'd heard from guys who were either too broke or cheap to do anything on the day.
I particularly remember one of my exes who told me in Janauary that he didnt believe in Val's day. According to him, love should be celebrated everyday and not on one day. I actually thought he was joking and went ahead to EMPTY my bank account, borrow and even beg so as to be able to 'Val' him properly. A week before the day, when he was still preaching the same message, I told myself that he was just trying to give me a really big surprise (come on girls, you know how we deceive ourselves sometimes) so i continued putting my own plans together.
On the 14th, even though we lived barely five minutes apart, feeling all romantic with myself, I sent his gift (the latest Hugo Boss perfume set) to his house via DHL. Later that evening, I showed up at his house dressed to the nines in this killer ensemble (which i had bought with my own money oh!), bearing a large box of expensive chocolate (Godiva), two cards (one witty and the other romantic. Both hallmark of course), a bottle of red wine (South African) and a large cake (Opindos). I then treated him to a three-course dinner at Jade Garden (which had just opened at the time) and paid for everything! All the while i kept telling myself that my 'big surprise' was coming. What can i say, it's been three years and I'm still waiting. And mind you, I was still an undergraduate then and the dude was working and earning major bucks *collective sigh*
Looking back, I wonder why he accepted all my gifts and things if he truly didn't believe in Valentine's. You know what's funny though? I still stuck with the guy after that. Yeah i know, his jazz guy was a real bad guy. It wasn't until after his response to my period being late one time was that he was taking medication that made it impossible for him to get a woman pregnant, that i realised that if i didn't ditch the lying cheapskate I would end up dying an old maid, while him, happily married would say that his pastor told him that if he married me, he would die. Mscheew. And the amazing thing is, he was so convincing that I almost started to believe him. But this was the first I'd heard him talk about taking any form of medication and I'd spent time at his place a lot. Besides what kind of medication was that anyway? If there was anything like that then there wouldnn't be any unplanned pregnancies now would there???
Another common way to try to get out of Valentine duty is to pick a fight around the period. You'd think this is pretty obvious but you'd be surprised at how many dumb guys still do it. Another friend told me how her boyfriend did the exact thing. Picked their first major fight out of thin air five days beofre Val's and dragged it out to the 17th despite all her attempts at reconciliation.
Guys please. If you really can't afford to spend money on Valentine's day, don't insult us with the lame excuses and games. Explain the situation to your girl and buy her a nice card or something small (depending on your level of broke). Afterall, the day is really about love not money or gifts. If she leaves you as a result, then at least you know she wasn't really in love with you. But if you really have money and are just a cheapskate then i pray you fall stupidly in love with a gold digger who takes you for every single penny you've got. And all the ladies say...
A few weeks before the day, I was at the home of one of my girlfriends an we were discussing the lamest excuses we'd heard from guys who were either too broke or cheap to do anything on the day.
I particularly remember one of my exes who told me in Janauary that he didnt believe in Val's day. According to him, love should be celebrated everyday and not on one day. I actually thought he was joking and went ahead to EMPTY my bank account, borrow and even beg so as to be able to 'Val' him properly. A week before the day, when he was still preaching the same message, I told myself that he was just trying to give me a really big surprise (come on girls, you know how we deceive ourselves sometimes) so i continued putting my own plans together.
On the 14th, even though we lived barely five minutes apart, feeling all romantic with myself, I sent his gift (the latest Hugo Boss perfume set) to his house via DHL. Later that evening, I showed up at his house dressed to the nines in this killer ensemble (which i had bought with my own money oh!), bearing a large box of expensive chocolate (Godiva), two cards (one witty and the other romantic. Both hallmark of course), a bottle of red wine (South African) and a large cake (Opindos). I then treated him to a three-course dinner at Jade Garden (which had just opened at the time) and paid for everything! All the while i kept telling myself that my 'big surprise' was coming. What can i say, it's been three years and I'm still waiting. And mind you, I was still an undergraduate then and the dude was working and earning major bucks *collective sigh*
Looking back, I wonder why he accepted all my gifts and things if he truly didn't believe in Valentine's. You know what's funny though? I still stuck with the guy after that. Yeah i know, his jazz guy was a real bad guy. It wasn't until after his response to my period being late one time was that he was taking medication that made it impossible for him to get a woman pregnant, that i realised that if i didn't ditch the lying cheapskate I would end up dying an old maid, while him, happily married would say that his pastor told him that if he married me, he would die. Mscheew. And the amazing thing is, he was so convincing that I almost started to believe him. But this was the first I'd heard him talk about taking any form of medication and I'd spent time at his place a lot. Besides what kind of medication was that anyway? If there was anything like that then there wouldnn't be any unplanned pregnancies now would there???
Another common way to try to get out of Valentine duty is to pick a fight around the period. You'd think this is pretty obvious but you'd be surprised at how many dumb guys still do it. Another friend told me how her boyfriend did the exact thing. Picked their first major fight out of thin air five days beofre Val's and dragged it out to the 17th despite all her attempts at reconciliation.
Guys please. If you really can't afford to spend money on Valentine's day, don't insult us with the lame excuses and games. Explain the situation to your girl and buy her a nice card or something small (depending on your level of broke). Afterall, the day is really about love not money or gifts. If she leaves you as a result, then at least you know she wasn't really in love with you. But if you really have money and are just a cheapskate then i pray you fall stupidly in love with a gold digger who takes you for every single penny you've got. And all the ladies say...
Welcome to my Very Own Madness.
Oh wow so I started a blog. Interesting. Perhaps if I told you how this happened then you would understand why I think it is so.
Its 2a.m, and I'm 'Skyping' with Irene discussing business (yes business) and then one of us (probably me but i refuse to admit it) asks the other if she's heard that a mutual acquaintance just had a baby (Yes we were discussing business). The other party hadn't heard and so we both proceed to Facebook to peruse the aforementioned mutual acquaintance's wall for clues to confirm the story.
Perusal over, I return to my Facebook homepage and see that one of the FABest magazines in town at the moment has a new blog post. Attracted by the cover picture I decide to click on the link. This is rather strange for me because before now I have never opened a blog on my computer before. True story. No I am not stale or anti-social and I don't know if there's plant life in Mars. I actually even enjoy reading. But somehow I just haven't. I have visited Bella Naija twice I think and NotJustOk once, both on my blackberry and within the past month. I didn't spend more than 10mins in either though (Oh come on, you can't use that to judge me and decide to leave here in 5).
Anyway, so I open this magazine's blog, read the first line of the post, scroll up and down the page and then one little button catches my eye; Create Blog. All this while, I'm still actively discussing business with Irene. For some reason, I click on it and....
I'm not even sure how this works. Or how its supposed to work. But it will be as fun and as unpredictable as the way it was birthed. I hope. A few stories here (fiction and otherwise), a few random thoughts there (Yeah I know, if you wanted to read my random thoughts you'd just follow me on twitter right? But the 140 character hiccup...). I'll start by posting a couple of stuff I've written over the years and then we'll go from there. I may offend a few sensibilities and will be politically incorrect a lot of times.
Enjoy.
'Dania.
Its 2a.m, and I'm 'Skyping' with Irene discussing business (yes business) and then one of us (probably me but i refuse to admit it) asks the other if she's heard that a mutual acquaintance just had a baby (Yes we were discussing business). The other party hadn't heard and so we both proceed to Facebook to peruse the aforementioned mutual acquaintance's wall for clues to confirm the story.
Perusal over, I return to my Facebook homepage and see that one of the FABest magazines in town at the moment has a new blog post. Attracted by the cover picture I decide to click on the link. This is rather strange for me because before now I have never opened a blog on my computer before. True story. No I am not stale or anti-social and I don't know if there's plant life in Mars. I actually even enjoy reading. But somehow I just haven't. I have visited Bella Naija twice I think and NotJustOk once, both on my blackberry and within the past month. I didn't spend more than 10mins in either though (Oh come on, you can't use that to judge me and decide to leave here in 5).
Anyway, so I open this magazine's blog, read the first line of the post, scroll up and down the page and then one little button catches my eye; Create Blog. All this while, I'm still actively discussing business with Irene. For some reason, I click on it and....
I'm not even sure how this works. Or how its supposed to work. But it will be as fun and as unpredictable as the way it was birthed. I hope. A few stories here (fiction and otherwise), a few random thoughts there (Yeah I know, if you wanted to read my random thoughts you'd just follow me on twitter right? But the 140 character hiccup...). I'll start by posting a couple of stuff I've written over the years and then we'll go from there. I may offend a few sensibilities and will be politically incorrect a lot of times.
Enjoy.
'Dania.
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