She sighed in her head. She really should have just gone back to school with Motunde when they had finished at Surulere. But she'd promised him she was coming over and he'd kept calling. Plus she'd called Stella who had said there was still no light at school. For the third night in a row. At least I'll be able to sleep for more than 3 hours without battling mosquitoes and excruciating heat, she thought to herself as she made her way to his place at about 11:30pm.
Only for her to get here and meet darkness. Great. Just great. At least in school, she'd have slept without having to share her bed with anyone. She really hated sharing beds. I wonder what will happen when I'm married. She smiled at the thought.
He started trailing kisses down her neck and she shifted uncomfortably. Okay dude, time to sleep. She didn't even understand him sef. One second he was calling and asking where she was. The next, he was angry and berating her at the gate for coming so late and now he was kissing her. She could sense he was still angry though. There was a certain roughness in his kisses.
She tried to push him away. He didn't budge. She turned her face away from him. He turned it back.
"Ohi, I'm tired. I want to sleep." He didn't answer but instead moved to her left breast and started to suckle through the top she was still wearing.
Ok, this isn't funny. His right hand snaked down to undo the button of her jeans and pull down her zipper.
"Stop Ohi." She was starting to panic.
"Wait. Just wait."
"Wait for what ehn? I said stop!" She started to struggle as he tried to pull down her jeans but he pinned her down easily. She was no match for his gym enhanced body.
"Just wait, stop struggling."
She paused. She remembered he'd told her before that struggling just spurred him on. He took of the jeans. He tried to take of her panties. He'd never taken off her panties before. She was fully panicked now.
"Ohi! What are you doing? Leave me alone, i told you I'm a virgin!" She latched onto her panties. He slapped her hands away. She couldn't see his face but she could feel the intensity of whatever emotion he was feeling.
Oh God! What do i do? Do i scream? He lives alone in a bungalow. His next door neighbours to the left and right are companies. His house is cut off. If i scream, no one would hear. Plus I'm scared of him now, he's so... there's no telling what he might do. Besides, the first question anyone would ask is what I'm doing at his house at this time of the night.
Her panties went off.
Oh God! Please, I'd do anything, just get me out of here. I promise to never get myself in this kind of situation again!
He parted her legs.
"Please! I beg you Ohi, in the name of God, please....NO!!!"
And then he was in. No preambles, meandering, nothing. One swift thrust and he was in.
She screamed. She wasn't sure which pain she felt more. The one in her heart or the one in her deep. The tears started.
Maybe i do deserve it.
Afterall, I came to his house, I wasn't forced.
Maybe its what I even wanted?
God please make him stop.
Its so hot. This room is so hot.
He pulled out. She curled up in the fetal position and let the tears come fully. He stretched out his hand to her. She recoiled.
"Come, lets go take a shower."
The tears came harder.
She sobbed louder.
He went to take a shower.
He came back and met her as he left her: fetal position, still sobbing. He got in the other side of the bed and pretty soon she heard his snores.
The tears would not just stop.
The next morning, he acted like nothing had happened. Didnt mention it, wasn't even sober around her or anything. Just his normal self. The only reference he made to it was when he pulled off the sheets from the bed and said to her without turning, "You were a virgin after all." That was it.
And so in some twisted way, i convinced myself that it wasn't what it was. I couldn't bring myself to accept that i had been...couldn't even say the word. His not acknowledging it in any form, made it easier for me to convince myself that it wasn't what i thought it was.
We were together for long after that.
It wasn't until long after we broke up that i faced the truth. He was ill and i went to see him. We were still friends. He 'playfully' joked about how my sleeping with him again would cure his illness. I laughed it off. Playfully. And then:
"Maybe i should just rape you, after all that's how i got it the first time."
I froze. Time froze.
I was raped. It wasn't all in my head.
I hate you. You bastard. I hate you.
I forgive you.